Crandall Family

Look who's 3!

2010-07-01T22:40:00.001-07:00

And look who finally decided to blog! haha.

Have Joy Give Away

2009-08-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hey! I'm doing a scripture case giveaway on Have Joy! YAY!!

Click HERE to enter!!

Give away closes Thursday, Aug 20 at 10 pm PST.

Let's Talk About Sex

2009-06-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a study on the sexual satisfaction of married, LDS couples.

Interested in participating?

CLICK HERE for more information.

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-06-22T08:48:00.001-07:00

It's my Bubba's birthday!! I can't believe she's 2. CLICK HERE for my little birthday tribute to her.

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-11T23:56:00.000-07:00

Had a fabulous day. Here are a couple pictures. Took them on my phone=not the best quality.
Better than nothing.

My little mommys, ready for church...purses and all

Doesn't get much sweeter than this face:

Hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day!

HAVE JOY

2009-05-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

So, I've been slacking on this blog lately. Have you noticed?

This is because I've been blogging EVERY DAY (well, Mon-Fri) on Have Joy.

Today is a meaningful one for me.

Go check it out.

Have Joy

And add Have Joy to your blog list! All the cool kids are doing it.

Missing Her

2009-05-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday

2009-04-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures from our Easter Sunday... Great weather, great company, great day!

Taylen in her absolutely beautiful new dress. How cute does she look?
(shout out to Sam's Aunt Deanne who sells these dresses. Super cute.)

Sweet Bubba girl, also in a new dress.

Nikki and Samster

Sam's daughter Ainsley and my Taylen Bug
(Talk about a good time. These two had lots of fun together)

Bug

2009-03-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

What? You're dying to read a funny story about Taylen?

Click HERE.

Check it

2009-03-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

So, some of you might remember that I have another blog. Have Joy.

My little Have Joy blog has been feeling very neglected lately. I'm sorry, Have Joy. I have been ignoring your needs. I will ignore them no longer.

I am making a goal to post something new (and hopefully remotely entertaining) Monday through Friday on Have Joy. Starting today.

So if you're feeling crazy, or bored, or intrigued, or hungry, or angry, or antsy, or happy, or irritated, or tired, or confused, or curious, or ashamed, or enlightened, or like you have to go to the bathroom (especially if you have to go to the bathroom), then you should go check it out:

Have Joy

By the way, did you know that most people only have an emotional vocabulary of 6-7 emotion words to describe how they're feeling? Test it out. Try and come up with 10. And you can't use any of the ones I used up there. Good luck, good people. Good luck.

I wonder where I get it?

2009-03-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

So, I had an amazing weekend. Absolutely fabulous. I'll blog more about that tomorrow, amazing pictures included.

But for now, please enjoy what happens when you get a bunch of Schroeders (or their offspring) in front of a camera for too long. Seriously, my crazy is genetic. And I love it.

Birthday Time!

2009-03-15T10:06:00.001-07:00

Hey! Remember me? That girl that used to be good at blogging? Well, I'm back. At least for one post. :)

So I turned 27 yesterday. Holy mink. Apparently life just keeps trucking along.

I had an absolutely GREAT couple of days...

Friday my boss took me to lunch. Sweet. Thanks, boss :)

Friday night I went out with a bunch of girls from my ward to the Cheesecake Factory (some of them took pictures, but I don't have them, yet...sorry). It was awesome to just chat with the ladies and eat yummy food. It really doesn't get much better than that. Thanks, April, for getting that together! And thanks to everyone who came!

Saturday morning I woke up and studied for a bit (mid-terms are next week. boo.). Then I went tanning (happy birthday to me!!). Then I opened a sweet gift from my parents. Let me introduce you to the RipStik:

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this amazing little gadget, it's like a skateboard. That you wiggle. And when I was in Utah a month ago I played on my cousins (he's 9, don't worry about it), and I became a little obsessed. Which my mom apparently picked up on. So she bought me one!! I AM SO SO EXCITED!! Except mine is hot pink. And awesome.

And I may or may not have completely eaten crap (flat on my back on the asphalt) yesterday while I was trying to ride it. Haha. And there may or may not be witnesses.

Best present ever. And then I got to thinking... What kind of 27 year old mother-of-two wants a RIPSTIK for her birthday?! hahahaha. An awesome one, I'd say. :)

Then my friend Melissa came over and we "studied" for midterms. Or just talked. And talked some more.

Then I picked up Sam from the airport. Meet Sam:

Then Sam and I went to dinner with Kristin and Neal...Tahoe Joe's. Yummy. Pretty sure I ate so much food I could barely move. Then back to the Hinson's to hang out for a bit. I may or may not have made Sam play the piano and sing for everyone. :)

Then I was asleep by 12:30, and we had to leave to take Sam back to the airport at 4:30 in the stinking morning! Super fun couple of days.

Thanks to everyone who helped make my birthday a great one! I definitely felt loved. Which is a great way to feel. :) Love you all!!

Rita Rocks My World

2009-03-06T16:52:00.000-08:00

I am laughing so hard right now.

Tears running down my face. I can't breathe.

Please check out THIS POST by my sister, Calee, to see why I love my mom so freaking much.

She is awesome.

Go Rita.

Loves

2009-02-28T23:02:00.000-08:00

Here is a little video of Ryah Bear. It's a little on the long-ish side (2 minutes, 7 seconds, to be exact), but I liked all of it so I'm posting all of it.

Ryah is now 20 months old. Crazy! She is seriously at the cutest little stage right now where she's starting to talk and be goofy and I just adore her right now. Not that I don't always adore her...but...actually...I don't always adore her. haha.

Always love her? Yes.

Always adore her? Hard to do when she's pouring her yogurt off the side of her high chair all over the kitchen floor and rubbing it in her hair. Not so adorable. :)

Anyway, here's just a little video of her waking up from her morning nap. Apparently she was not in the mood to showcase her animal noises, but fortunately pointing to various body parts was on the Things Ryah Can Do Today List, so she shows that talent off quite nicely. My favorite thing that she says right now is "be happy," which she picked up from the song Don't Worry, Be Happy, which I play around the house pretty much every day. Again with the adorable.

So enjoy the little video of my Bearsy Girl--scraggly hair and pj's included. And sweet, sweet disposition. That happens to be included, as well.

...

Lucky me. :)

**By the way, this is my 200th post on this blog! Holy cow, I've been doing this for a long time.

Taylen's Trick

2009-02-25T13:30:00.000-08:00

Taylen does this every time I open the garage. At first I freaked out. Now I laugh.

And Ryah is so darn cute! She is starting to talk and is at an age I absolutely adore.

I love my girls. :)

UTAH

2009-02-17T13:33:00.000-08:00

So I went to Utah this past weekend and had an amazing time. It was really really really really (not to mention really) fun. Here are just a few of the reasons it was so awesome:

Brooke got her wisdom teeth out. Which meant her face was huge and puffy. And she was on drugs. And there's not much in the world that is more entertaining than Brooke on drugs. For real.

I got to hang out with my stellar family:

(me and the madre)

Sister Shmae and cousin Jadie Cakes:

I went on a date for Valentine's Day and wore my cousin Samantha's jacket.

She's 12. haha.

I got to see some of my best friends/old BYU roommies. SO FUN.

I miss these girls so darn much, and I love hanging out with them. We always pick up right where we left off. Chantelle announced some big news, and Paige fell off a pogo stick. And within 20 minutes of their arrival my mom randomly said, "boobs." I'm still not quite sure why, but it was pretty funny.

AND...I went snowboarding for the first time! We went to Park City, and it was really ridiculously fun. My body is definitely mad at me today, though. And tomorrow's not going to be pretty, either...

All in all, it was really a great trip. Yay for Utah. :)

Brooke Loves Me

2009-02-10T01:19:00.000-08:00

I am up way too late looking through old pictures on my computer and I found these little gems:

Apparently this is what Brooke did in her spare time while living at my house. My favorite is the dark hair one. Oh the eyebrows are amazing.

Sister Love

2009-01-31T17:23:00.000-08:00

Sweet Taylen

2009-01-26T21:23:00.000-08:00

I had a warm-feelings-in-my-heart mom moment the other day when I was putting Ryah to bed.

The lights were off, and I was rocking Ryah in my arms and singing softly to her, like I do every night before I put her in her crib. She was cuddling her blanket, and humming along with my song. Then I kissed her, told her I loved her, and put her softly in her crib.

I turned around and Taylen was standing in the doorway watching us. I walked out of Ryah's room and Taylen said,

"I have a little tear in my eye."

She was wiping away a tear, and I sat down by her and asked her what the matter was, and she said,

"That was so cute."

My sweet three year old had tender little feelings in her heart from watching a sweet moment with Ryah. Such tender little feelings that it even made her a bit emotional.

And it definitely warmed my heart, and made me so thankful for small, quiet moments like that with my children.

Sweet little thing.

Sunday Clothes

2009-01-25T22:52:00.001-08:00

My sisters Calee and Kristina bought my girls cute church outfits for Christmas.
I decided to post a picture as a thank you to them for making my kids look cute today.

You'll have to make do with these not-so-great photos of Taylen, and the not-so-existant photos of Ryah.

My Past Life

2009-01-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

I recently uploaded a bunch of pictures from old photo albums so I'll have them electronically.

I've decided to randomly post these pics from my past life here and there. You should probably be excited.

Here's the first from times past:

This was taken in 2001 (I believe) at UNLV. I was about 19 years old, young and carefree...

Yup. It was me.

2009-01-21T01:09:00.000-08:00

Remember that one time Brooke and I tried out for American Idol? (click HERE to refresh your memory.)

Apparently I'm not good enough singing with my mouth open to get me anywhere, but singing with my mouth closed is an entirely different story.

And it seems I have a talent for finding new (and more public) ways of embarrassing myself all the time. This one will be hard to top, though.

I am so flattered that my impeccable grace and beauty were finally able to be appreciated by the American public.

And in case you missed it...

Shout out to Kristin

2009-01-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

Can I just say that I love this girl...

Kristin is in my ward. Our backyards share a fence. She is a busy mom of three, whose husband is often out of town for work.

And she has been a huge blessing in my life this past year.

And I just wanted everyone to know how much I appreciate her. :)

She has had my family over for dinner COUNTLESS times. And if I can't come over for dinner when she invites me, she often drops a plate of leftovers at my door.

She watches my kids while I'm in class. Even though she is ridiculously busy with her kids, and calling, and life.

She never makes me feel like I am intruding or putting her out in any way when I need her help. Ever.

And I have just really come to value her friendship. And I know it is more than coincidence that we are friends, because I'm pretty sure I would have jumped off a cliff without her help this past year. And I am thankful to my Father in Heaven for putting her in my life.

She is a beautiful, beautiful person.

::Love to Kristin::

May We Stand Still

2009-01-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend of mine last week about my life, and how crazy and overwhelming it can be at times. He told me to go look up a scripture, which I swear I have never read before, but it was highlighted when I opened to it, so apparently I just have a bad memory.

It is now my current favorite scripture.

Doctrine and Covenants, section 123, verse 17:

"Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still."

Short little guy (the scripture, not my friend). Lots of good stuff in there (the scripture AND my friend :). First of all, the word "cheerfully." I love that word! There is such a big difference in doing all things and in cheerfully doing all things.

And I just love being reminded that once I do all I can do--everything in my power--I need to be still. When we are still we can feel the spirit. When we are still we can see things from a more eternal perspective. So stop worrying! Stop stressing about the details! (Says Nikki, Reigning Stress-Yourself-To-Death Queen.) Do what you can, and let the Lord take care of the rest. Hey, that doesn't mean we get a free ride. "All things that lie in our power" are a lot of things! And the Lord expects us to do our part. Like in this quote:

Together you and the Lord can move mountains. But don't be suprised if He hands you the shovel.

And once you've done all the digging you can do, and are covered in dirt, and sweat, and blood, and probably tears, and you've dropped the shovel on your foot, and your toe is broken, and a passing bird has done it's business on your head... you can trust that it will all work out.

Even if it doesn't work out the way you've planned.

Especially if it doesn't work out the way you've planned.

I'll take His plan over my plan any day. I've just gotta keep digging...

Cheerfully. :)

Asleep

2009-01-13T23:34:00.001-08:00

I am happy right now.

Just watched American Idol.

Laughed.
Laughed some more.

I've been in a happy mood ALL YEAR!! haha.

Seriously, though. So far, I am liking 2009.

I had a great break, which I just really (really times a million) needed.

I have been revamping my spirituality a bit. Just putting things that should be priorities back where priorities need to go. Like...um...the Priority List.

I have been spending a lot more time with my girls because I'm not in school at the moment.

And I'm just excited about what this year has in store for me. I can feel the ickiness starting to evaporate a little bit.

And pieces of me are waking up that have been suffocated by a couple years' worth of crap (insert any strong, feces-related word you wish into this sentence). And I've really missed those parts of me. And I didn't even notice that they had faded away.

For example:
1. I'm singing. (I'm in a store, and I'm siiingiiinng.) Like, around the house, in the car, at the top of my lungs while doing chores. There was a long time there that I didn't do that. And I didn't notice. And I'm glad it's back. :)

2. My kids were asleep. I was alone in the house. So I (naturally) decided to practice my karate jumps. I spent a good ten minutes running down the hall and flinging myself (not) gracefully into the air...complete with hand chopping motions and warrior cries. Face planted a couple of times. It was awesome. And I thought to myself, "It's really too bad there's not a man around these parts to appreciate me right now." haha. That dorky, way-too-much-energy side of me was on hiatus for a while. And I have no idea how to spell high-ate-us.

3. I run with my kids. Not like, "hey, let's go for a quick jog." But like, "Taylen! We're at the mall and there's a bunch of people around but I'll race you to the ice cream store...ready, go!!" And we run, and she laughs, and I look like an idiot, but I don't care.

4. I tell stories. This has always been a Schroeder gift (or curse...not sure). We can turn pretty much ANYTHING that happens during the day into an entertaining story. I've noticed myself doing that more and more, and I love it. It makes for interesting days, and weeks, and lives. :)

Yay for coming back to life after being numb and frozen and devastated and heavy and dark for so long!! It's like when all the blood rushes to your leg after you've been sitting on it weird.

The life is rushing back into me.

And it tingles.

And I like it.

Sweets

2009-01-10T10:43:00.000-08:00

You cannot possibly be sad when you look at

this sticky, ecstatic face.

In a Nutshell

2009-01-06T19:19:00.001-08:00

So, I've had an AWESOME break. Really relaxing. And fun. And perfect.

And I'm putting a bunch of pictures on here to sum it all up.

Here's what we did while in San Diego:

Calee turned into a high school girl for New Year's.

haha.

The sisters (plus a few boys) partied it up New Year's Eve.

Took my kids (and my friend Jenny and her daughter Emerson)
to a friend's 20 acre ranch and rode ponies, pet chickens,
picked tangerines, held guinea pigs, got dirty, and
had a great time.

Me and Jenny. We go way back. And Ryah and Emerson are
like 4 days apart, and she's pregnant with #2. Notice her adorable baby belly.

I hung out with BRANDON DINSBACH...a friend

from BYU who I haven't seen in 7 YEARS.

How am I possibly old enough to not have seen people in 7 YEARS?!

It was awesome to see him. And kick his trash in air hockey.

And yes, he really is THAT tall...

We watched Ryah make ridiculous faces while eating...

Weird British doctors flew across the waters from ENGLAND to hang

out with weird sister who has been chatting it up with him...that's right, people.

We talked with British accents the entire time.

And Jet gets a thumb's up from me. Way to go.

And, oops, these pictures are in reverse order. Oh well.

We went to Disneyland (SO CROWDED).

This is us on the way back to the car.

Three tired girls...

Meeting Mr. Mouse.

Taylen got a princess makeover and met

three real princesses. She was on cloud nine.

Seriously, look at her face. So happy. :)

Getting her princess makeup after

her hair got done.

Ryah chowing down on some cotton

candy. She was definitely not sticky at all

after this.

We went hiking at Daly Ranch

by my parents' house.

Calee and I with an angel or something.

I got my hair cut and colored.

Love it.

Sweet baby :)

And there was so much more, but I'm not going to post all of it. I'm feeling rejuvinated and ready to take on 2009! I am so happy that 2008 is over...

Come on 2009...you're my year :)

We've been busy...

2009-01-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

...Relaxing in San Diego.

I'll update you soon.

Hope you've all had a great holiday!

Blessed

2008-12-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a long post...but worth the read. :)

I have been overwhelmed with a feeling of being loved this past week, and especially the past few days. People all around me have been giving of their time, means, and friendship, and it has really been extremely moving for me.

It was a year ago this month that I told Brad things with us were over, and so Christmas time brings with it many strong emotions for me. I have been reflecting on my life this past year, and I can hardly believe that a year has gone by, it seems to have gone so quickly. Yet at the same time, last December feels like a lifetime ago. Like a different world, a different person... So strange. So sad. So hard. So testimony strengthening and growth inspiring. So many thoughts, and feelings, and moments that I can't even put into words...like there are no words strong enough to convey what its really been like this last year for me.

And I survived. I am making it, one day at a time. I am much happier this December than I was last December, and I can hardly wait to see what next December will bring...
Anyway, back to the L.O.V.E. overflowing that I was talking about. I have been deeply touched by the kindness and generosity of those around me recently (all year, really, but specifically recently).

It seems like at least once a day I find myself in tears as I am overcome with gratitude for the generosity and kindness of people in my life. Thank you, thank you. Words really can't express how deeply I have been affected by your friendship and generosity.

So, it's Christmas time. And what does that mean? The 12 Days of Christmas!! My family did this a few times when I was growing up, and it works like this (for those of you who may be unfamiliar): We would secretly pick a family who might need some extra love around Christmas, and then on each of the twelve nights leading up to Christmas day we would drop a present off at the doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run and hide. It's a fun way to spread some Christmas cheer. I hadn't realized that Christmas was so close (is anyone surprised? I'm a basket case right now), until I got doorbell ditched a little surprise on Saturday. It was the first gift of twelve, one for each night of the twelve days leading up to Christmas.

So today was the third day I've gotten a gift left on my doorstep (I'm going to catch you up on the past three days), and I really can't say how touching each of the notes and gifts have been. I seriously have cried every night as I've read them.

Cried.

Just tears of gratitude. And because I've felt loved. And I think these have been so touching because the love I feel from whoever has been doing this has reminded me, in a very poignant way, of my Heavenly Father's love for me. I have been reminded that He is aware of me, and that He has put people in my life to help ease my burdens. It is really overwhelming (in a good way) to think about.

Anyway, I would like to share the first three days of Christmas with you. I hesitated posting these, because they have been very meaningful to me, and I almost don't want to desecrate them by posting them. haha. Sounds weird, but you guys should be used to weird by now.

But, I really think they are beautiful, and so I decided to share with you!

Day One:

Fitting for the night of laughter...this is the ornament from the present that Taylen insisted was a cookie. Please notice the two bite marks. That's right, TWO. She went back for more...haha.

"For Brooke. Wear this next time and you'll catch him!"
That's right, people. A CUSTOM MADE

BEAVER BRA!!

hahahahahahahaha! Oh man, we laughed hard.

Well done, Secret Santa. Well done.

hahahahah!!

And a book to write funny and memorable stories about my kids in, to bring "an abundance of joy and laughter...a cure for any ill."

And as I type this, here come the tears again...sheesh.

Absolutely perfect First Day of Christmas.

Day Two:

"For tears cleanse the soul to let healing begin."
And my soul is definitely being cleansed at the moment... :)

This night came with a "tear blanket," and thread with a note that said "Write your own soul cleansing words on this tear blanket." The words "joy" and "love" were already embroidered on it...

Isn't that such a neat idea?

The perfect Second Day of Christmas... :)

Day Three:

"And with a sigh comes acceptance of what we cannot change."

This one was especially powerful to me tonight...

At the bottom of the note it says to take five minutes of peace and sigh in the bubbles...

And they left some yummy bath stuff.

An adorable book...

(seriously, if you are a mother of young kids you would appreciate this book)

And an AWESOME drawing that I just had to share:

I'm assuming that this is Brooke keeping my bath warm while

Taylen massages my back and Ryah takes care of my feet.

That's realistic, right?

The perfect Third Day of Christmas... :)

And you'll have to stay tuned for Day Four tomorrow!

...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU

to whoever is doing this for me and my family.

I really can't express how deeply I've been touched.

...

City Tree Lighting Ceremony

2008-12-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

So every year our cute little city does a tree lighting ceremony. An octet from our ward sang at it last year, and this year they asked me to get a musical number together for it. It was super last minute (and the weekend before my crazy finals), so I asked Kari and Kristin (sisters that live on my street) to throw something quick together with me. We ended up doing It Came Upon A Midnight Clear, an a capella version my family did like ten years ago.

We sang at the ceremony, embarrassed ourselves at the clubhouse, ate at Costa Vida, and then went shopping at the newly redone mall. It was a sweet night.

Anyway, here's a little video for your viewing pleasure. WARNING: if you have a good ear you might not want to listen... haha.

The first half is us singing, and the last half is our bloopers. Way more entertaining than the singing, if you ask me... :)

Oh, and please notice that every time we have to stop because someone messed up or is laughing, IT'S ALWAYS ME THAT MESSED UP OR IS LAUGHING!! hahah. I'm such a geek. But I have fun.

Thanks Kari and Kristin for a seriously fun night!!

The Life of A Student

2008-12-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

It's 1 a.m.

I'm on page 7 of 10.

Been on page 7 of 10 for a while.

Can't seem to get to page 8. Completely out of things to say. It's hard to write a paper when you're out of things to say.

My kids will be up in 6 hours.

I guess I'll go work on my presentation for a little bit. Maybe that will give me inspiration for my paper.

In less than 24 hours I'll be done with my first semester of grad school!!

Unfortunately, it's going to be a long 24 hours...

Oh beaver.

2008-12-07T15:22:00.000-08:00

Brooke and I are on our way to church today. We see a BEAVER running down the middle of road, going the opposite way as us.

Seriously? A beaver?

Yup.

A cute, happy little guy. Running along with his big, beaver teeth and his big, beaver tail.

So we (naturally) make an illegal u-turn so we can try to rescue this little creature.

And by rescue I do not mean sneak up from behind, shove it in our jackets, and hope we don't get rabies from our new pet. I mean try to bang pots and pans together to scare it back into the field so it doesn't get smooshed by oncoming traffic.

Unfortunately I do not carry pots and pans around with me in my car. And by the time we turned around, the little guy was gone.

So we turned around again (headed back the original way) and we see the little sucker on the side of the road, with a hawk or (insert large bird of prey here) swooping at it.

Immediate parkage on the side of the road. Running in our church clothes, dodging traffic and looking for our beaver friend. Brooke happens to be wearing a flannel shirt-dress, which is sort of woodsy looking, so maybe the beaver will be drawn to her. Turns out, he's not.

We can't find him. He's a mysterious disappearing beaver! So we head back to the car.

And as we're running back to the car brooke says, "This is so not the right bra for catching beavers! I need my beaver bra!"

Don't we all, Brooke. Don't we all.

The night at the beach I will never forget...

2008-12-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to say much. But I will say that if you give us a camera and some intermittent nudity, we're guaranteed to have a good time. Can I just put it out there that I love my sisters so much...We always have so much fun when we're together. It is not unusual for there to be so much laughter that our stomachs hurt and our pants are wet. haha. Sick but true, people, sick but true.

Brooke= $90 richer. Don't

ask about her dignity, though.

Calee

Brooke

Kristina

Yours truly. Apparently really enjoying myself...

Sister Love.

Thanksgiving in San Diego

2008-12-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

Things I do not want to forget about this trip:

Brooke: GET OFF THE BOX, TAYLEN. Tay: I’m not on the box.

Pumpkin cheesecake.

Bunk beds.

Percoset.

Guitar Hero.

Man hating.

Platinum Brooke.

Twilight.

Poop in the bathtub.

Salamander tay found.

Brooke punching some dude in the mouth.

Lars=man boobs=Kristina Love.

Purple boots.

Rolled tacos at oscar’s.

Tay winning the jackpot at Chuck E Cheese

Ryah riding the pony.

Ryah saying “get down” to Taylen.

Sex talk with Cakey. Haha.

“Did I say this isn’t awkward? I meant it definitely IS.”

Crying at everything.

Texas sheet cake and Dr. Pepper.

Pictures in the dark at the beach.

The flu completely ruining my action plan. Literally.

$90 well spent.

Brooke…glowing…flailing…

“I need the money!”

“We’re going to get arrested.”

“Just pee in the ocean!”

Laughing so hard you pee your pants. And when I say you, I mean Calee.

Drunk guy hitting on me at Oscars.

“No one has heard for the OC”

“You handled that well. And when I say well, I mean hilariously.”

Someone crashing someone’s car directly into someone else’s car.

Taylen’s sweet prayers.

Taylen crying as we’re leaving and telling me “I really love my grandma.”

How much I hate saying goodbye.

Me and my Dad

Mom rockin' Guitar Hero

Tay hit the jackpot on one of the games at Chuck E Cheese and won like 100 tickets.

She was pretty proud of herself.

Taylen Love

hahahaha. How could you not love that face?

High School Friends + Mexican Food= Good Times

Smachy Poo...

Kristina jammin'

Mom and Dad

Aren't they cute?

Tay and me

Bubba with Mama

Sisters Galore

2008-11-23T14:19:00.000-08:00

Many of you have met (well, virtually at least) my sister Brooke (her blog here). I've talked to quite a few of you who read her blog regularly because she is almost as entertaining as me. :)

We have two other sisters, Calee and Kristina. They have recently started a blog together, and they also fit into the "Entertaining Schroeder Sisters" category, so I figured some of you might enjoy their blog as well. Introducing Life's Short, Eat Dessert. Go check it out sometime, and you can get to know all four of us crazy, funny, happy, crazy, intelligent, crazy Schroeder girls.

Did I mention crazy?

Consider yourself warned.

Here are some pictures to enjoy...

The two who started it all:

It really is amazing we're as normal as we are, considering...well, we came from this:

Then came Nikki,

Calee Wags,

Kristina Rae,

and Brookie Cookie.

All of us single. All of us man-haters. All of us bloggers.

Woot woot Schroeder Sisters.

Things we do...

2008-11-22T09:20:00.000-08:00

So here's a little idea of what we do on my days off:

We put bubble wrap and stuffed animals in the kitchen and party...

We dress up our neighbor boy in girly clothes and take blackmail pictures.

We do Ryah's hair in funny pony tails and she says, "why mom, why."

We see how many pictures in a row we can take before Taylen doesn't blink.

We get suckers at the grocery store so mom doesn't kill us while she shops.

We visit Aunt Heather and baby Paisley in the hospital.

We get super excited for peaches and Nutrigrain bars.

We dress Brooke up in crazy Halloween wigs and party.

And that's it. There's a little taste of my life. Spicy, eh?

Old news

2008-11-19T11:22:00.000-08:00

So this happened a while ago, but I just remembered it and decided to post it for your reading pleasure.

THE SETUP: I have a little pad of paper in my kitchen where I write down funny stories that my kids say or do. Sometimes I'll write them on scrap pieces of paper, or receipts, or whatever is handy so I don't forget the story.

THE STORY: So at the beginning of the semester (September-ish) the one and only available/young guy in my class asks if he could borrow one of my books because his hasn't come yet. It bears mentioning that this available/young guy also happens to be on my "ridiculously hot" list. What? You don't have one of those? You really should...it helps to map it all out... :) The list, I mean, not the hot young guy. Though I guess we could all use one of those...

Anyway, we are all still nervous and excited and don't know each other very well because it's the beginning of the semester. I am excited that Dude is talking to me...even if it is just to borrow my book. So, I give him the book and he promises to bring it back to our next class.

Next class comes. Dude gives me the book back. And then hands me a little piece of paper and says, "I think this belongs to you." I note the weird smirk on his face as he hands me the paper and walks out of the room.

Allow me to share what was written on the paper:

My bum's name is Harry. Sometimes he itches me, and I say, "Knock it off, Harry!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my gosh! Out of all the ridiculous things Taylen says, THIS ONE happens to be the one I leave in my book and give to Hot Guy?!?! hhahah.

Man, I got a kick out of that one. Apparently the Universe believes my life is just one big joke.

But if not...

2008-11-16T23:44:00.001-08:00

Beautiful quote from Elder Dennis E. Simmons, exactly what I needed today:

Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not.…

Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not ….

He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not.…

Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not.…

He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not… we will trust in the Lord.

Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not.…

He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not.…

We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has.

*I know this is true. I know that we will be delivered from our trials, in the Lord's time and in the Lord's way...which happens to be the hard part for me. I want to be delivered now! I want to be done with my trials now! The Lord does not promise to sheild us from pain and suffering. In fact, He guarantees that we will each be put through our own, individualized refiner's fire. The Lord is aware of me, He loves me, He is rooting for me :). Now if only I could start rooting for myself...

Little Miracles

2008-11-15T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am convinced that our lives are filled with little miracles every day. But most of the time we are too busy or too loud or too hungry or too crabby to notice them. I had two happen the other day that I would like to honor for a minute.

First, the toilet. Yes, the toilet itself could be considered a miracle, but that was not MY miracle on Thursday. My miracle on Thursday was the fact that I was in the bathroom after finishing a midterm. I was holding my brand new (and awesomely amazing) iPhone with my chin...sort of tucked into my neck (my hands were busy doing things like pulling up my pants). I turned around to face the toilet so I could flush the magnificent machine, and in doing so loosened my chin grip on my phone. In slow motion, my iPhone dropped from my neck-chin, bounced off one side of the toilet seat, flipped and spun in the air (while I am gasping for breath because I'm about to watch my brand new phone splash into the toilet water) to the other side of the toilet seat, and slammed to the floor. I have never been so freaking happy to see my phone crash to the floor. Seriously, another centimeter and it would have been in the toilet. And I would have been a very sad little girl. Thank you, Miracle #1.

Miracle #2 has to do with the number 28. This is the number of dollars it took to fill my ENTIRE tank full of gas!! $28??!?! That is amazing! I seriously double checked the numbers like 3 times. Happy day.

...

I am now on the lookout for more mini-miracles. And you know what? The more I look for them, the more I recognize them. Funny how it works like that...

Oh man.

2008-11-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

So today I busted out my running shoes for the first time in a year. One year!! Oh exercise, how I've missed you.

I started out enthusiastic. Day off work, kids with their dad, feeling pretty decent about life. The air was chilly, good old Regina Spektor la la la-ing on my ipod. I ran for a good 30 seconds before I felt the burning.

It did not go away.

A solid 20 minutes later I was done. And I mean, good and done. Legs shaking, throat burning.

Really? How pathetic am I??

Pretty darn pathetic, it turns out.

It's now been 2 hours since my intense workout, and my legs are already stiffening and my throat still hurts. haha. Tomorrow is not going to be pretty.

And to my running shoes...don't get your hopes up. This just might be a once a year rendezvous.

Thoughts on 8

2008-11-08T16:40:00.001-08:00

So.

Prop 8.

Pretty big news, in case you weren't aware.

I have got to say that I have been shocked at the way people on both sides of the vote have behaved concerning this issue. I have had conversations with people on the Yes side that have left me feeling angry and embarrassed by their ignorant and condescending attitude.

I have read articles like this one that show very clearly how hate and intolerance are just as real from the No side.

I have seen protests and commercials as described in this article that show how the Mormon church is being targeted for its contribution to the Yes on 8 campaign. We have been accused of being bigots. We have been accused of hate. We have been accused of intolerance.

And it's just downright not true.

The truth of the matter is that the way Prop 8 was set up forced us (as LDS people) to make a choice between our own religious rights, and the rights of homosexuals. And in the same way, it forced homosexuals to make a choice between their rights and someone else's religious rights. There was not a way for my rights and their rights to be equally preserved. And so I voted for mine, and they voted for theirs. It was not a matter of hate or intolerance.

In fact, the LDS church made a statement on November 5 clearly stating that the church believes that gay and lesbian couples should have equal rights. The fact that we believe that the word MARRIAGE defines the relationship between a man and a woman does not mean that we believe in oppressing others. In the church's response (found here at ldsliving.org) is the following paragraph:

Allegations of bigotry or persecution made against the Church were and are simply wrong. The Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage neither
constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians. Even more, the Church does not object to rights for same-sex couples regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches.

Finding that balance between my rights and your rights, his rights and her rights, the rights of the mother and the rights of the unborn child, the rights of the individual and the rights of the government, has been and will continue to be a major part of democracy. I want to make sure my rights are preserved, just as you want to make sure yours are. And we all have the opportunity to make our voices heard. It is unfortunate that the voices of opposing sides tend to be silenced by ignorance and hatred.

As most of you know, I recently began a Master's program in Marital and Family Therapy. It's safe to say that I am absolutely in the minority when it comes to politics and religious beliefs. Wednesday night I sat in class listening to a roomful of students (including a gay man) and my lesbian professor talking about how despicable it was that Prop 8 passed. I did not volunteer my opinion, until my professor asked me to share my thoughts. I really can't explain how intimidating it was to sit in a room full of my peers who vehemently disagreed with Prop 8 and look my lesbian professor in the eye and tell them I voted yes. I told them that I believe that same sex couples should have equal rights, but that I believe marriage is ordained of God and is between one man and one woman. They respectfully asked me questions about my faith, about the Church's beliefs about God and modern day prophets.

And then something beautiful happened. We understood each other in a deeper way. We recognized that there could be mutual respect for each other, though our beliefs are very different. We connected on a human level, the level that in each of us really craves acceptance.

And that, my friends, is the true meaning of tolerance...

Tricks and Treats

2008-11-01T22:04:00.001-07:00

We had a very successful Halloween at our house. I took the kids twice--once on Thursday for our city's Safe Trick or Treat, and then on Friday night. Taylen was a bunny on Thursday, and wanted to be a bunny again on Friday, until her Dad showed up dressed up as Prince Eric, so she of course had to be Ariel. Except we had already drawn her face on, so she was Ariel with a bunny face and a crazy red wig. Haha. She looked freaking trashy. And awesome. And everyone was confused. Anyway, it was fun. And it was nice to have Brad and Nana and Emmalee come up and hang out with us.

Taylen the Bunny

Ryah the Pink Poodle

Flower, Poodle, Prince Eric, Ariel/Bunny/Crazy

Hahahahahahah!!

Tay with her mom and dad :)

We hope you all had safe and happy Halloweens!!

Yes on 8

2008-10-31T12:26:00.001-07:00

Come on, people. Make it happen.

Hair Cut

2008-10-18T21:53:00.001-07:00

Big pet peeve of mine: long, scraggly little girl hair. Tay's long hair was really cute when I would actually do it. But unfortunatey, that was not very often. I finally got sick of her looking like a little homeless scraggle, so we cut it off! I like it, though I feel a little sad because she's just looking older and older, and I'm realizing how much I'm going to miss my little 3 year old Taylen Bug when she's all big and grown up...

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Clark Halloween Party

2008-10-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

Every year Ben and Stephanie Clark put on a big Halloween party. I harnessed the essence of Jem and the Holograms (80's cartoon...click the video, you'll remember):

Can you feel the essence of Jem emanating from my awesome blue dress and sweet makeup? It should be noted that everything I'm wearing came straight out of Brooke's closet. Blessed, crazy girl.

The Merrils, aka Prom King and Queen. And yes, they have somehow managed to have braces an awkward hair. And yes, that is her REAL prom dress...haha. So funny.

L to R: April (part of a foursome fruit of the loom costume), Amber, JEM, Jeannie

Jen and Guy Perrow. Can I just say I love them? So glad they live next door to me. They were "windblown." They even had an inside out umbrella. Pretty funny.

And the following picture is just a little hint as to who won the Limbo contest...

That's right, people. I may be divorced, but I still haven't figured out how to say no to Limbo.

Update

2008-10-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, some updates for ya. Here's a cute picture of the Taylen Bug...isn't she looking so old?! She is growing up... :) Also, there's a little video of Ryah making the standard animal sounds. It's not very good quality (hello, digital camera) and is a little anti-climactic (is that how you spell that word?) but I thought some of you (:family:cough:cough:) would appreciate it since you haven't seen her for a while. And please notice that I cannot get her to sit still for anything. The girl is always on the move. Maybe next time I'll stick her in her high chair so she'll focus better :)

As for me, I'm just trying to hang in there with work, and school, and life! I've got a final tomorrow that I need to study for, and a messy house to clean, and some sleep to get. All in all, things could definitely be a lot worse :).

And that's all for now...short and sweet! Enjoy :)

Terrible.

2008-10-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been ridiculously bad at keeping up this blog. But do not assume that a lack of interesting things to post about has been the reason for the slacking. Let me fill you in:

Finally Official/Officially Final: That's right. My divorce is final. Thursday, October 2 was the day. It was really a weird, bittersweet day for me. Brad and I went to court, the judge signed the papers, and that was that. I felt a lot of relief. And also a lot of sadness. Like I've been ignoring how sucky it is to get divorced, and all of a sudden I was forced to look it square in the face. Bleh. But I have no doubt that this is the right thing. Because if I wasn't sure I would not still be doing this. It stinks. :) But it's getting less stinky by the day, so don't you worry about that.
Papers, Papers, Papers: I had two 15 page papers to write this weekend. WOHOO. I had to interview my family and figure out what our issues are, and how those issues will affect my clinical work. And I've come to realize that I'm pretty much a mess. And that I will never be in a healthy relationship again. TRUST ISSUES. The end.
Emergency Room Greatness: My mom spent the weekend in the hospital. She'd been having some bad stomach pain (which was the general area of her cancer/chemo/radiation if you remember from last year). Thursday night it got to be unbearable (two Percoset were doing nothing to dull it), so my dad took her to the ER. She spent the weekend on morphine, and in and out of tests and scans and procedures. They ruled out her cancer, which is good. But they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They think it could possibly be a side effect of her radiation or something, so she's going to see her oncologist sometime this week. They discharged her from the hospital last night.

So, there ya go. That was my eventful weekend. Now I'm at work, so I should probably go work. :) Man, what am I going to do with myself if the Soap Opera that is my life get's boring? Not sure I'll remember how to function without a bunch of crud going on all the time. haha. Nice to spew at ya, blogger world!! I actually really miss you guys :)

REMEMBER ME?!?!?!

2008-09-13T22:52:00.000-07:00

You have all been missing me terribly, right?!

I knew it.

So it's been a ridiculously long time since I posted anything on either of my blogs. Let me explain:

I met an amazingly hot guy who has fallen madly in love with me and I'm spending every spare moment in his arms.

Or not. :) haha!

The real (less juicy) truth is that I started grad school. And I love it!! I'm in class 3 nights a week, and working three days a week, and doing mom stuff in between. Oh, and waking up early and staying up late to get all my reading done for class. Which (surprisingly) leaves very little time for blogging. Or showering.

I am finally starting to feel like my life is not hell on earth. Even though to some of you it would be :). I seriously am in love with the Master's program I am in. I love my teachers. I love the students in my classes. It's been 3 weeks and I already feel a bond with them. Since this is a therapy based program, classes tend to be sort of...therapeutic. :) So so so so glad I decided to go back to school.

Also, I've finally made some decisions about my life that have been hanging over my head for months. Like whether I should move to San Diego, or stay in Sacramento. Long story...but I've decided to stay in Sacramento. And I feel really peaceful about that choice. Huge relief to have finally come to a decision about that. My life is starting to settle into a bit of a routine (crazy, freakishly busy routine...but a routine, nonetheless). It feels good. And it's about darn time. :)

Ryah update: We had her tested for allergies because the poor kid has just been throwing up pretty much her entire life. Turns out she's got some serious ones. Normal is .375 or below. She is a 1.2ish for peanuts. Lame. She is a 2.5ish for dairy. Really lame. And she is a 6.7ish for eggs. WHAT?!?! Holy mink! Poor thing! No wonder she's been sick and barfy all the time! Practically everything I was feeding her had dairy, eggs, or peanuts! Seriously...what 1 year old's diet isn't entirely made up of cheese, yogurt, milk, bread, and peanut butter sandwiches? So, she's officially on soy milk. And green beans. And that's about it. haha. If any of you know any awesome vegan meals, let me know. Ryah's getting sick of all 3 things she's allowed to eat.

What else...

Yeah...that's about it for now.

I will try and post every once in a while, but it will not be as frequent as it's been in the past. Luckily for you all, I've gotten my sister Brooke hooked on blogging, and she's almost as entertaining as me. :) Almost.

And now I've got to go prepare for the fight. Because when Brooke reads this she'll laugh and disagree with me, and then I'm going to punch her in the gut. Because I could use a little more drama in my life right now...

I'll let ya know how it turns out.

Private Promises

2008-08-07T22:54:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I really am making this blog private. But it is a pain! I finally sat down to do it, and I have to MANUALLY enter in everyone's email addresses. And I've got a lot. I'm talking close to 100 email addresses. And I have to manually enter them all.

SERIOUSLY!?!?

What is this, 1705? I swear even pilgrims had the technology to drag and paste email addresses!

Typing them all in one at a time just seems so primitive.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I am switching it to private, slowly but surely. It's just taking me a while. Don't forget to leave your address in a comment or email it to me if you would like to continue reading this blog...

Jamba Happy

2008-07-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Brooke got a (nother) job working at Jamba juice. So, Saturday morning at 9 am we decided to go say hello and have a good morning smoothie. Here's a peek into the party that it was:

Don't worry. I always get the Peanut Butter Moo'd...which happens to be the LEAST healthy thing in the store. Perfect.

Also, did you know there is a secret Jamba Juice menu? Well, it was secret until I posted about it on my blog, since the ENTIRE WORLD reads this daily. haha. {sarcasm}

It's kind of like ordering a hamburger Animal Style at In N Out. You can order smoothies that are not on the menu, but that everyone (except me, until now) knows about! It is pretty top secret, so I just might get snipered for spilling the beans. So totally worth it. The three smoothies I have recently learned about are the Gummi Bear, the Skittle, and the Starburst! Seriously. I have witnessed (and tasted) the creation of the Gummi Bear, but have never seen anyone order the other two. Try it out and let me know how it goes.

To my anonymous friend:

2008-07-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

I got a comment on my previous post from an anonymous person that I would like to respond to. My thoughts were too long to stick in a comment, so I'm responding in a post. Look at that, Anonymous!! You're anonymously getting your own post on my blog. Good job :).

Here is part of their comment:

"I know nothing about your personal situation, nor do I need to know, so this question may not even apply to your specific situation. However, HOW do you know when divorce is right for you?I think in our religious "culture" it is one of the most taboo topics around and understandably a situation of "last resort". How is that decision come to? How do you make peace with it and know for sure it is the right thing to do under the circumstances? (p.s. This is not meant to put you "on the spot" or to sound judgemental, it is an honest question. I know many people who are staying in bad situations because their fear of divorce, or the fear of the "unknown" (i.e. having to go back to grad. school, use daycare, etc.) overrides their fear of their current circumstances...if you have any insights to share, I think it could be incredibly helpful!)"

For my response to this question, visit my other blog: Have Joy.

One Month...

2008-07-25T12:20:00.001-07:00

...From today my Master's Program begins!! I am so excited/nervous/freakedout/stressed/monkey/anxious/terrified/thrilled/tired/happy/can't wait!! (Did anyone notice the monkey in the middle there? Just threw that in for fun.)

Anyway, this month will go by quickly. My mom is coming to visit for a while, my hours will be changing at work, I'll be buying books and figuring out my schedule, then to Reno for a weekend, then school! I think once school starts I will actually be spending more time with my girls than I've been able to since March, which I am so excited about. It just breaks my heart when I think about not being with them all day. Tearing up right now. Quick, change the subject.

So, there ya go. Oh, and I am getting really tired of this not-really-divorced-but-not-really-married stage. Like really.

Isn't it time for me to wake up yet? This nightmare is getting old.

My mom is awesome.

2008-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

So my mom found some unusual charges on her credit card this past week and discovered that she was the lucky winner of credit card fraud! Flowers, jewelry, stuff from QVC--all purchases she did not make but were charged using her credit card number. She was pretty upset. I'm sure it's not smart to post all the details on here, but let me tell you the awesome part of this story. My mom called the flower company that had charged her credit card, did a little fibbing (straight Law & Order style), and found the order that had been made using her credit card number--a $114 fruit basket! Don't worry, I'm sure it was diamond encrusted fruit. Anyway, the order had already been put together, so it couldn't be cancelled.

...

But it had not been delivered.

...

So (not about to let crazy Credit Card Stealer reap all the benefits of stealing her card) my mom (let's call her Awesome Lady from here on out) promptly changed the delivery address...TO MY HOUSE! Haha! No sapphire studded fruit for you, Credit Card Number Stealer!

...

So this arrived at my house this afternoon:

Definitely not sparkling with diamonds, but still pretty sweet. Way to go, Awesome Lady. The funniest part is the rad (yes, I just said rad) note that came with the basket (I blurred out the company name):

Oh Leroy...how nice of you to buy your girlfriend fruit using someone else's money! What a catch you are! You tell your Lovey Poo to hold on to you! Who says romance is dead? You bring warm feelings to my heart, Leroy. Way to go.

REJECTED!

2008-07-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

So Brooke and I tried out for American Idol last week.

That's right.

Tryouts were in San Francisco, which is 2 hours from where I live. We had to be there at 7 am on Tuesday to register and get wristbands, which we then had to wear for 2 days until auditions, which were on Thursday. Thursday we were up bright and early because we had to be at the Cow Palace by 5 AM!! Holy early. We stood in lines for ridiculous amounts of time. I actually sang with my mouth closed on camera, which will hopefully never make it to the show (I am pretty embarrassed of that in hindsight, actually, haha).

It was lots of fun, though. We even saw Justin Guarini! (That's right, season one fans. Be jealous!) We met some weird people, listened to a bunch of horrible singing, Brooke got some dude's phone number, someone thought I was 17 years old (haha, for reals), and all in all just enjoyed the experience. You sing for some random judges the first few rounds, and we got cut right out of the gate--we didn't even make it past the first judges! haha. In our defense, though, our judge was nodding, smiling, and even winked at me during my audition. Then he told us this, "We're looking for something really specific this year, much different from last year, so we're going to have to let you go." In other words, "YOU'RE NOT GOOD/CUTE/WEIRD/ASIAN/BLONDE ENOUGH." Ha ha.

So we laughed and kissed our dreams of fame goodbye and went home.

Living Room Picnics

2008-07-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, if you have young kids and you've never done this, you're missing out. I'm not sure what is so exciting about eating dinner on a blanket on the living room floor, but Taylen thinks it's quite fun. Here's a picture from our Orange and Blue picnic...complete with macaroni and cheese, carrots and ranch, and blue cups and spoons. Good times, people.

Finally Pictures

2008-07-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted any pictures, so here are a few random ones from the 4th of July and planting some flowers. Nothing too exciting, but Taylen is pretty cute :)

Have I ever mentioned how mature I am?

Let's get one thing straight...

2008-07-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

The other day Taylen was ridiculously low on sleep (which means she was a cranky nightmare). She was being a bit of a stinker and I said, "You're being so cranky, you must be pretty tired."

She folded her arms, looked right at me and said,

"I'm not cranky. I'm just a brat."

Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up.

Good morning, sunshine.

2008-07-11T20:43:00.001-07:00

So this morning I was sleeping and Taylen came in to wake me up and told me,

"I'm pregnant, mom."

And I thought...how long have I been asleep?!?

I WANT I WANT I WANT...

2008-07-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

So, I REALLY want a new digital camera. A nice one. I've just got a little one that I've had for 3 years, and the battery always falls out and it's all scratched up, and it's just getting to be time for a new one. Having nice pictures is important to me, because one day that's all I'll have to remember how sweet my girls are right now.

I obviously don't have tons of extra money for a super nice camera, but I'm willing to sacrifice a little so I can get one. I think I might ask my relatives to pitch in to a "Nikki's Camera Fund" for Christmas instead of gifts. And I know Christmas is far away, but I'm starting my research early.

So, for all of you out there who have nice cameras (Jenny MorphDorph, Cathi, Chantri, and I'm sure there are more of you)--what kind of camera do you have, and what are the pros and cons? I want one that's got a good auto setting so I can use that while I learn the other stuff. But eventually I would love to be able to set it manually and use different lenses and things.

Give me the goods. Let's hear it.

Just an FYI

2008-07-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

I am going to start posting all my random stories, thoughts, quotes and other stuff on my Have Joy blog. This (Crandalicious) blog will have pictures, stats, and stories about my kids...which are probably more boring to everyone, and mostly will satisfy the grandparent/great grandparent/aunt/uncle craving for my kids. I am going to be making Crandalicious private soon, so if you would like an invite, please email me at havejoy@ymail.com from the email address you would like me to add (or leave a comment on this post with your email address). I will be adding family, friends, and even friends of friends (if you're really that interested :). I will add you even if I don't know you personally, I just want to keep better tabs on who is looking at this (Crandalicious) blog. Have Joy will remain public so anyone and everyone can look at it. So that's that! Get in the habit of checking Have Joy for the deep (and not so deep) Nikki thoughts, and Crandalicious for the kid updates. Sound good?

My New Boyfriend (Bachelorette References Ahead)

2008-07-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, people. Jason is hot. DeAnna is freaking stupid. She could have had the beautiful, hot, stable, hot, safe, hot, romantic, hot, reliable, hot Jason. Plus he's kind of good looking. Instead she chose the shaggy headed, crooked nosed, pink shoe laced goober snow boarder Jesse.

WHAT?! Are you kidding me?!?!

Luckily for Jason I have been studying the home-town date footage and have pretty much narrowed down where his house is. Now I need to come up with a non-stalker explanation for why I'm standing on his doorstep wearing a wedding dress. Suggestions welcomed.

So me and Brooke are sitting in intense anticipation of some heartbreak during the finale. All is quiet in the house (except for me pausing the tv every five minutes to make some obnoxious comment about DeAnna's dress, or Jesse's obscenely crooked nose, or Jason's hot body...I can thank my mother for that endearing characteristic of mine. And when I say "endearing," I mean "I'm lucky Brooke hasn't stabbed me with the remote control," which doesn't seem like it would hurt...but it probably would. Think about it).

So, I'm eating some leftover breadsticks from Little Ceasar's, and Brooke is dipping some buttered toast in hot chocolate, despite the fact that it's literally been ONE THOUSAND degrees here. Literally. She makes some obnoxious comment about how my breadsticks smell like body funk, so we proceed to call them "Fart Sticks" the rest of the evening. *Warning: If you are mature, you might not belong here. Just a thought.*

So, I've got my Fart Sticks (which are delish, by the way) and Brooke's dipping her toast, and out of nowhere she makes this animal-like noise...like, from the throat...gluttoral? guttoral? I have no idea what I'm saying. But it's a weird noise. I look over and she's looking in horror at her toast, her face distorted with disgust. She starts to tell me that the butter...(gag)...smells like...(gag)...butt...(gag)...

She is literally dry heaving. Literally.

At this point I am curled in a tiny ball on the couch, trying not to pee my pants or choke on my Fart Sticks, which takes a lot of concentration. Especially since tears are streaming down my face because I'm laughing so hard.

Brooke is still dry heaving. It's pretty awesome.

We finally semi-compose ourselves, and Brooke makes this genius suggestion, "You have got to smell this."

Let's see. On my list of 5 things I want to do today are:
1. Get salmonella from some rotten tomatos.
2. Jab a very sharp pencil way up my nose.
3. Eat tic tacs that this dude gave me (click to see it bigger if you can't read it):

4. Watch hours and hours of the Tyra Skanks show
5. Jury Duty
6. Take a big whiff of involuntary gag-inducing butter that smells like feet.

Oh darn! The butter sniffing didn't quite make the top 5...too bad.

Unfortunately, Brooke wasn't about to let me get away without experiencing the dry heaving pleasure she was privy to. So, she pinned me on the couch, and literally rubbed the nasty butter /slash/crap all over my face and up my nose. As if it's not disgusting enough to have butter smeared everywhere, the fact that it literally smelled like dead cat made it even less pleasant. Literally.

Seriously, words cannot express oh how awful twas the smell.

So there we were, both of us laughing, crying, and dry heaving at the same time. Oh, and trying not to choke on Fart Sticks. And it totally ruined the whole Bachelorette I'm a Stupid Immature Girl Who Thinks She's In Love thing.

But it was pretty freaking funny.
::Sigh of contentment::

Introducing:

2008-07-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

Have Joy

Click above to view my new blog!

Don't forget to leave me a comment to let me know what you think...

Cookie Book

2008-07-03T02:09:00.001-07:00

So my mom brought us a new book last week when she was here, and it has quickly become one of Tay's favorites--Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar? We have read it every night for at least a week. So tonight Taylen is ready for bed, and I ask her if she wants to read the Cookie Book again tonight, and she says,

"Yeah. That book makes me so sweaty."

What?! hahah...ya gotta love the three year olds.

Crazy is hereditary:

2008-07-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

Tkljslfkj alkjd lkajsld fjkadlfk alkdflkjaowijeor fkja;afoiej ?

Happy Birthday, Bearsy!

2008-06-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

So Ryah turned one on Sunday! I can't believe it. Reflecting on this past year brings up so many emotions for me...and most of them are not pleasant. I'm pretty sure that the months following Ryah's birth hold the #1 spot on the "Crappiest Times in Nikki's Life" list.

...

It feels terrible even saying that, but her birth was really a turning point for me. She was a VERY DIFFICULT baby. Literally cried all the time, and didn't sleep longer than an hour or two at a time for months. I got mastitis (if you've never had that, just go take a steak knife and jab your chest with it a couple of times and you'll get the general idea of it). I had a very time and energy consuming calling. My mom got diagnosed with cancer and underwent chemo and radiation. And the you-know-what hit the fan with Brad and I, and took a serious turn for the worse. Well, things hadn't been good for a while, but no one knew (including our families) until the weekend Ryah was born.

...

That was the weekend I realized that the situation was bigger than I could handle by myself.

...

Anyway, it was such a hard time in my life. I look back and know that there is no way I could have gotten out of bed in the morning had I not had some serious help from my Father in Heaven. It's interesting that while I was in it, I didn't realize how serious things were. I was sort of a zombie, just going through the motions to get through the days. But looking back I am so thankful that I am not in that place anymore. And even though things are difficult (in a different way) now, they are nowhere near as crappy as they were a year ago.

...
And so, Ryah's birthday this week was a celebration of new life in so many ways. I am so blessed to have this sweet baby in my life. She reminds me that I have much to be thankful for.

...

Happy birthday sweet girl! You are loved by many.

I see London, I see France...

2008-06-24T12:01:00.001-07:00

So...

Flirting.

It is the funniest thing. Once I got married and my relationship shifted from the fun/flirty stage to the baggy sweat pants/fall asleep at 8 pm stage (which I happen to love, by the way), I started to get a kick out of watching young males and females get their flirt on. The overexaggerated hair flicking, the elbow touching, the too-loud laughing at the not-quite-funny jokes...it's all just so funny once you're not in that stage anymore.

And then some of us get suddenly thrown back into that stage, ready or not.

Seriously, the first day I walked around without my wedding ring on was so weird. I swear everyone (correction: every male) was staring at me. The cashier at McDonald's, the mailman, the random guy in the car next to me, they all wanted me. They could sense that I didn't have my ring on. haha. Obviously, I was being slightly oversensitive to it, which has since worn off. But seriously ladies, have you ever forgotten your wedding ring one day? I swear men treat you differently.

Anyway, so I'm at work the other day, and this guy comes in. He's been in before, we've chatted. He knows I'm going through a divorce, yadda yadda (is that how you write that? I've never actually written that before, and I have no idea if that's right. Probably "yadda yadda" should be in our Butcher The English Language Dictionary that we started compiling in the previous post).

Okay, so Dude turns on the flirting. And it's not pretty. Seriously, he was being so immature it was almost embarrassing! He is like 34 going on 12.

I actually left the office with permanent marker scribbled up my foot, and a "kick me" sign on my back.

I wish I was kidding.

I'm surprised he didn't snap my bra and remind me that it was Flip Up Friday.

If this is what I have to look forward to in Dating After Divorce Land, just kill me now.

At least then I could avoid the awkward couples' skate at the roller rink...

Sex Sells

2008-06-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

So, since I posted about sex a couple days ago, I've had a billion hits on my blog!! Okay, maybe not a billion, but definitely a lot. That post was pretty funny, though, I'd have to admit. I'm glad you all appreciated it and are coming back for more!

So this post is not about sex (I can feel the disappointment from you all), but it is about something that bothers me almost as much. haha. Kidding.

The English language. It is weird. And people butcher it. And depending on the mood I'm in, I either find it humorous or totally annoying.

Here is one of my favorites that I have been guilty of using, but have since repented :). And now I notice it all the time. I just heard it in a country song (Brad Paisley, no less) on the way home from work the other day, which prompted this post.

And it is (drumroll, please):

A Whole Nother.

As in, a whole nother post. Or a whole nother class.

What, exactly, is a NOTHER?

Technically, I guess it should be "another whole monkey" instead of "a whole nother monkey."

Everyone I know says this, and probably nobody notices that they're talking about Nothers.

And it gets better. I looked it up in Webster's Dictionary, and it's there! haha. Awesome.

Click the NOTHER to get the definition.

Moral of the story: Even if it's totally and completely wrong, if enough people do it for long enough, it will eventually be accepted as correct (ie: put in the dictionary). Does this worry anyone else on a much deeper level? haha. I'll save that for a different day.

Okay, I'm off to take care of a sick baby and an overactive 3 year old (or maybe "overactive" is just implied with the age group...).

Here comes a whole nother day!

Make it a good one. :)

Lighten it up

2008-06-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

So I know my posts have been pretty heavy lately, so here's a less depressing one for all of you.

I decided to make an old family favorite, Better Than Sex cake (am I even allowed to write that word?). If you haven't had the pleasure of trying it...you really should. I dare say there's a very good chance it lives up to it's name.

Brad is going to kill me :) haha.

Seriously, though... It's 8 o'clock at night and you're exhausted. You're covered in baby spit and macaroni and cheese. You haven't showered in two days. You FINALLY plop down on the couch and put your feet up. What do you really want? To use more energy for a few minutes (cross your fingers) of real life, unromantic, I'm-too-tired-but-I'm-doing-it-anyway husband/wife relations, OR to have a huge piece of decadent chocolate cake, dripping with condensed milk, hot fudge, whipped cream and toffee bits and the only thing you've got to move is your hand to your mouth?

I dare say I know the answer.

Hey, don't get me wrong. It's been a long time since there's been ANY type of relations going on with me (is that too much information? my bad), and I'm not trying to bad mouth the glory that is sex. I'm just saying that once you reach a certain point in your life (like 8 months after you get married...or...less...), you might just have to face the reality that your priorities may have changed.

And cake is at the top of them.

So, back to the story. You pour condensed milk all through this cake once it's out of the oven, which gives it this shiny, gooey goodness. I had been trying to think of a different name for this cake, since I definitely do not want my three year old learning the word sex--in any context. She is awesome at picking the quietest, most innapropriate times to say things like, "I have a penis," which is ridiculous because of course she doesn't. haha. I do not want to add another embarrassing word to her repertoire. I can just picture her in the middle of church, throwing a fit because she wants a treat, and (referring to the cake) yelling, "I WANT SEX!" Yeah, we're going to avoid that.

Anyway, I put her piece in front of her and she looks disgusted and scrunches up her face and asks, "Are there boogers in this cake?"

Apparently the shiny/cream colored condensed milk looked like boogers to her. And I laughed. And told her yes.

And then we ate our Booger Cake.

2008-06-12T14:02:00.001-07:00

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

--Guy on the Oprah Show

I'm getting my fair share of experience lately... :)

For Erik and Emily

2008-06-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

The Rudy Family: Erik, Emily, Mason, Milo

Taken this past weekend

One of Brad's best friends from his college days, Erik Rudy, passed away last night. I worked with Erik the summer I met Brad, and always enjoyed his sense of humor (it was definitely needed that summer, eh SafeStone friends?). He used to tell me funny stories about his son Mason (who was not quite 2 at the time, I think), and I just enjoyed working with him. Anyway, Erik has been fighting leukemia for a year and a half. He underwent chemo/radiation three times, and a bone marrow transplant, and has been in remission for about the last year (I think). He received the crummy news last week that the cancer had returned, and there was not much they could do about it. Doctors gave him a timeline of a few days to a few weeks. And last night, about a week after he got the news, he passed away.

The news that Erik's cancer had returned is what prompted my crummy life post a couple days ago. I keep in touch with Emily here and there through blogging and facebook and we are not super close, but this has hit me really hard. I think things like this really make you evaluate your life, and wake you up to things you should be doing differently.

Emily and I have emailed back and forth a couple of times, and I am impressed by her strength and testimony that she has shared with me. I am thankful for her example, and her positive attitude during this terribly difficult time in her life.

On her blog she wrote, "I know I've already said this, but I'm really going to miss him." I'm sure this is the biggest understatement of her life right now, and the simplicity and honesty of this statement brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.

There is heartbreak and sadness everywhere you turn. Isn't it comforting to know that no matter how heavy it gets, we do not have to bear it alone...

Emily, Mason & Milo, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

FLB reunion, this past weekend.

(Thanks, Heidi, for the pictures. )

I don't know you?!? I don't care.

2008-06-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post something like this for a while, and just haven't gotten around to it. The past few months I've had quite a few people that I don't know post comments on this blog. Some of you knew Brad, but not me. Some of you found me through friends of friends (hey, we've all done that. Personally, blog stalking is one of my favorite past times...not gonna lie). Some of you have no connection to me at all but you just happened across my blog. And for every one person that doesn't know me but is brave enough to comment, there have got to be at least a couple who read this blog regularly but are not brave enough (or inspired by what I've written enough) to post a comment. Like rats. For every one you see, there are 5 you don't see. haha.

Anyway, I just want to say that I LOVE getting comments from you all. Even if I don't know you. Especially if I don't know you. It is comforting and uplifting to know that the things I'm experiencing or thoughts I'm having can be inspiring to people who may be going through trials of their own. Or who are just interested in reading what I have to say. Or to hear that I'm not alone in thinking or feeling the way I do. KEEP THE COMMENTS COMIN! Right now as I'm writing this I've had 97 views on this blog today from all across the country, with only 4 new comments...I know you're out there, people :). You might as well say somethin.

I think the internet (and blogging specifically) is a great way to make friends and connect with people who have similar experiences you have had. And it feels sort of anonymous...doesn't it? When I'm writing a post, I feel like I'm just writing in a journal or something. It wouldn't be as easy to be so candid face to face as it is blog to blog. :)

And this is why I'm starting another blog. More than me blabbing away, I want it to be a place where anyone (even if I don't know you) can comment and share ideas and meet people who may be going through similar things. More of a public place, rather than a family brag book :).

So thank you to all of my new blog friends who have been brave enough to post without knowing me personally. To name a few of you: Chantri Keele (you are SO talented, by the way, and I'm going to email you back someday), Elaine Williams (Congrats on your book coming out!! I am actually writing a book, too. We should talk), Cordie (I don't mind, I'm glad you enjoy my blog), Brooke Thompson (I'm also going to email you back), Sarah Harrison (hello, I worked in your dad's dental office in high school, sweeping up crud and cleaning instruments), Karli Cleaver (also on the "to email back" list), Abby Eaton (loved your comment, thank you.), Anonymous Elk Grove Ward Member (i laughed out loud at your "I'd be on the couch making love to Ben and Jerry" comment! haha), Julia (@Serendipity), Meghan Young (of course I remember you, and i LOVED your comment about me going to grad school), Cami (who lives in my townhouse in Rexburg...or did when she commented...it's been a while), Tashi (sister to Meghan, yes I remember you, too. And your three legged dog. Why do I remember that?), Liz (Suz's mom), Amanda (and Noah, thank you SO MUCH for your emails. I need to write you back), and a bunch of "anonymous" ones that I appreciate, too. If I left you off this list it was unintentional...I just wanted everyone who has made the effort to comment to know that I really do appreciate it, and count it as a blessing in my life that I can feel support from people I don't know well or at all.

Let's get excited for the new blog!

...Stay tuned...

Thoughts...?

2008-06-09T20:43:00.001-07:00

So I'm thinking about starting another blog. A blog dedicated to thoughts and experiences I'll have on this little journey. A blog to uplift people. That way I can put random stories and pictures of my kids on this blog, and deeper thoughts and more journal type stuff on the other one. Will I have enough material to keep the other blog interesting and updated, though?

Hmmm....thoughts? Would you read it?

This (Crummy) Thing Called LIfe

2008-06-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

So. Life.

This past year has been a dark one for me, and through it I have had many realizations. I would like to share a big one with you all:

Life is freaking hard.

I have always said that I grew up living a "fluffy cloud" life. Life was applause and roses for most of my growing up experience. I have an awesome family, I always did well at pretty much anything I tried to do, I've never even experienced the death of someone close to me (even all 4 of my grandparents are still living). Life was beautiful, and fun--which made it easy to live the gospel and have a testimony. I never had any experiences that emotionally crippled me and had me asking God why...

Until now.

And as I've been going through this experience of divorce (with all the feelings of betrayal, and anger, and fear) my eyes have been opened to how difficult this life really is. And not just for me, in this moment, but for all of us.

We came to this life equipped with a beautiful, deadly thing. Agency. Part of having the ability to make choices, is the reality that we will make poor ones. And part of the consequence of making poor choices is that it creates pain for those we love, and for ourselves. Enter this (crummy) thing called life.

We also came to this life to be tested. In order for our faith to be proven, it must be tried. Enter this (crummy) thing called life.

I received terrible news about a friend this weekend, and it has really put me in a reflective mood. People all around me are dealing with seriously difficult trials. I would like to list a few trials that friends of mine are currently going through (don't be surprised if you see your trial on this list...it's probably you I'm referring to):

1. Eating disorder
2. Depression
3. Bipolar Disorder
4. Substance abuse problems
5. Serious family issues
6. Death of a sibling
7. Death of a child
8. Inability to get pregnant
9. Children with disabilities
10. Family members deployed
11. Loss of a pregnancy
12. Loss of job/money problems
13. Cancer
14. Death of a spouse

And for every person I know that is going through something like this, I'm sure there are other friends of mine going through heavy trials that I am just not aware of.

It is sobering (and depressing) to think about how many opportunities for pain exist in this life. Think of how our Heavenly Father must feel as He watches us suffer, knowing that if we can maintain our faith, and rely on Him, that it will all be for our own good; that we can know joy as exceeding as was our pain. I am reminded of a quote by Sheri Dew from her book No Doubt About It. I'm going to post it on here, even though its long. It is very comforting to me, especially in light of all the pain that seems to be around me right now.

"It is in moments of disappointment, heartache, and lonliness that we often make the decisions that forge our faith, mold our character, and fortify our convictions about the only source of strength and solace that satisfies. And that is Jesus Christ.

How do we know if we are honest, unless our honesty is put to the test? How do we know if we are filled with virtue, unless there are opportunities to choose a nonvirtuous path that we then resist? How do we know if we can bear up under challenge and trial, unless we have challenge and trial? And how can we expect to feel and taste the pure sweetness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, meaning specifically the power and peace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, unless there are times in our lives when we desperately need and seek that peace and power?"

This is definitely a time in my life that I desperately need the peace of the Atonement. I am so thankful for my testimony of the gospel. I know that the Atonement of the Savior can be an unbelievable blessing in our lives if we choose to use it. I know that my Heavenly Father is intimately aware of me, and the things I have gone through can draw me closer to Him if I allow them to. I am thankful for the knowledge that (as stated by Warren Weirsbe) "When God permits His children to go through the furnace, He keeps His eye on the clock and His hand on the thermostat. His loving heart knows how much and how long."

Bye bye fluffy clouds. Here comes the fire.

A Big, Fat F

2008-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

I know my blog has gone from semi-interesting to totally lame lately. I am going to really try to post new things more often. Not only is it more fun for all of you out there in cyberland, but it is cathartic for me. (Click the word if you don't know what that means. I can thank my 10th grade history teacher, Mr. Franklin, for my ability to still remember the definition of that word. Pretty sure that's the only thing I took away from his class...besides the terrible memory of him sitting at the front of the classroom, legs propped up on the desk, with his way too baggy shorts and all too visible junk. Unfortunately I don't have a link to that.)

So, with the goal to actually blog in mind, I proceed with the following story:

I was on my lunch today, enjoying some tomato bisque from La Bou (can you all say, "awesome"?), and some Dr. Laura in my car. I've always had a love/hate relationship with her. I agree with most of her advice, but sometimes not with the delivery so much.

Anyway, she took a call from (I'm guessing) a mid-twenties female (I'm guessing on the female part, not the age part. Haha! Just kidding).

The girl said, "I want to know how to get over a divorce. I've been divorced for 1 year now, and I need to know how to get over it."

Naturally, my interest peaks.

Dr. L: Well, what do you need to get over?

Girl: I don't know...I feel like I've failed.

Dr. L: Well, you have.

**silence**

Dr. L: You have failed. You are divorced.

My stomach--knots. My heartbeat--elevated. I'm feeling the perfectionist/type A personality/ control freak part of me start to take over. And that part of me does not like to be called a failure.

But I am.

I am getting divorced. My marriage failed. Does it matter if it was my fault? Does it matter if it was his fault? Does it matter if it was my old boyfriend doing voodoo to sabatoge my relationship so he could fly in on a magic pony and take me to a land of dreams and sparkles? I really don't think so.

When you're filling out paperwork and have to mark one of the boxes (single, married, divorced), there is not a box that says, "divorced but it was totally not my fault." Mostly because chances are it probably was your fault. At least to some extent.

So I have got to accept the fact that I have failed. No matter what the details of it are. No matter how unfair it seems. No matter how badly I want to rent a billboard or wear a t-shirt around that says, "Divorced...but only because my ex is a loser." haha. (IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: I do not think Brad is a loser. And I hope you all know that from the snippets you get on here about him, or pictures, or activities with his family that I post about. I'm just trying to make a point.)

The gospel adds a dimension to this, though. Answers to prayer can be very powerful, and the peace you feel when you're making the right choice is undeniable. So from that perspective, I have not failed. I have followed through with the most difficult choice of my life because of an answer to prayer. And I have had countless experiences since then that confirm that this is the path I need to be on right now.

So no matter what that looks like to anyone else--even Dr. Laura--I can stand tall knowing that, though my marriage has failed, I am not a failure.

And one day I will be in a land of dreams and sparkles.

Magic pony and all.

2008-06-05T22:49:00.000-07:00

11 Month Old Superstar

2008-06-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

So Ryah has always been vocal. She likes to "sing" and listen to her voice. And she mimics us all the time. If Tay is crying, Ryah will yell at the same pitch (which is so so funny. And also sort of impressive if you think about it :). Or if Taylen is squealing and being silly, Ryah will copy it exactly. Or if Taylen growls at Ryah, she will growl right back. Taylen never did this, at least not as obviously as Ryah has been doing it. And I've been noticing that Ryah mimics me when I talk to her, mostly the pitch in my voice when I talk to her (like when I say, "do you want a bottle?" and my voice goes up at the end, she'll mimic the pitch of the last two syllables...i have no idea if that makes sense. haha). I've been telling Brooke this for a couple weeks, and she didn't believe me.

UNTIL LAST NIGHT.

Brooke was videotaping me feeding Ryah and playing with her, and Ryah totally mimics me when I say "all done." She's pretty much a genius. See for yourselves :)

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Memorial Day

2008-05-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

We went to the Sacramento County Fair for Memorial Day. We fed the farm animals, ate food, went on lots of rides (even a real pony ride), and got faces painted! All in all it was a good time.

Fun with Brooke

2008-05-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

My sweet Ryah...she has been so fun lately. She is walking all over the place, and she thinks its so fun...laughing and squealing all the time.

With Aunt Brooke

They have the same "I'm excited" face.

Sisters

Tay would rather play with the yogurt than eat it.

Utah Trip

2008-05-13T21:49:00.001-07:00

So me and Tay and Ryah went to Utah this past weekend, and it was so fun! My old BYU roomie, Chantelle, got married, and all the old roommates were able to come out for it. It was so fun! The girls did great on the plane, we stayed with my aunt and uncle and played and ate and ate and played. And it was just a much needed break for me. Here are some pictures:

Tay was so happy to be at the reception

Lauren and Ellie, me and Ryah. These two were born 3 days apart...

The sweet car I drove around all weekend. Thanks Holly and Russ!

AHAHA!! Okay, this picture is awesome. We were doing our cross eyes for the picture, but Taylen looks like she's just normally like this, haha...so funny.

The bride and groom

Taylen's favorite part of the reception: throwing rice! I love this picture.

Studio 34 Reunion!!

2008-05-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the 6 of us!! From left to right:

Suzanne and baby Addison, Me, Chantelle (the beautiful bride), Tressa and baby Bentley, Paige, Lauren and baby Ellie.

I love these girls...

Chantelle and Nick got married in a beautiful chapel right next to the Capitol building in Salt Lake. The ceremony was really beautiful, and I bawled through the whole thing. Here we are with the Capitol building behind us, right outside the chapel.

And I totally ruined this picture by not having my baby with me...

Me and Lo

Me and Paigey Pie (she's totally holding Stella down out of the picture)

With Tressa

Sweet Story

2008-05-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

So I was at my old BYU roommate's bridal shower, and Taylen came up to me and said, "I have a surprise for you." I'm looking at this thing in her hand and I can't tell what it is. I ask her where she got it, and she said,

"It came out of my bottom, so I just grabbed it."

HAHAHAHAH!! Oh my gosh! I seriously almost peed my pants, and I'm pretty sure all my roommates were crying they were laughing so hard. So I composed myself, and then took a picture and cleaned her up. Enjoy this beautiful picture of my sweet three year old holding a shiny piece of poop in her hand. haha.

Ear today, gone tomorrow

2008-05-07T14:00:00.001-07:00

So, took Ryah Bear to the doctor. Here's the update: She's got an ear infection. Her fever was 99.7, and she was pretty darn listless at the doctor's office. He said the ear infection could explain the vomiting, so she's on antibiotics for the next 10 days. If the vomiting continues after that, then we'll look into a possible food allergy. She threw up again last night, but hopefully this will be the last time.

I gave her a dose of the antibiotics and some tylenol for her fever last night, and by morning she was a much happier little girl.

Thanks for your thoughts...let's just hope the vomiting goes away...

Worried About Ryah

2008-05-06T14:27:00.001-07:00

So I'm looking for advice here...

When Ryah was a baby she was TERRIBLE. She literally cried all the time. I tried a bunch of different kinds of formula, and when I finally put her on soy formula she was like a different child. My doctor told me to start her on regular cheese and yogurt at 9 months, and regular milk at 12 months because most babies outgrow their sensitivity to milk products.

So at 10 months I gave Ryah her first taste of cheese. She chowed it down. She then threw up all through the night (which I didn't notice until later), and 4 or 5 times at church. And I'm talking projectile vomit. And in Relief Society she was literally choking on it...I had to take her out of class and everyone was concerned that she wasn't breathing. It was so scary. She never had a fever, but threw up 3 more times that day. And then she was fine.

Fast forward one week, she throws up at daycare. No fever, acting normal, and nothing else after that.

Fast forward to last thursday, she throws up in the morning, no fever, acting normal. (Mind you this is not spit up...there is a distinct difference. It is slimy, and has that acidic smell...definitely throw up.)

Fast forward to today: I'm at work and get a pohone call from our day care girl who says that Ryah has been sleeping all morning, then threw up a ton, and has a 101 degree fever.

What is going on with this girl?! In the last 2 weeks she has thrown up close to 20 times! I am leaving work soon to take her to the doctor, and I really think this is more than a bug. I think she's got some sort of food allergy (possibly dairy), or something that's just not quite right in her little body.

And don't even get me started on my health insurance right now...that's for another post. Anyway, I just hope that this is nothing serious...

Here's the proof:

2008-05-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Emmalee's Baptism

2008-05-02T20:44:00.001-07:00

Me and Ryah

Sarah and I (we sang a duet, and I made this face through the whole thing)

A visit from the fam

2008-05-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

A month ago my parents and my sister and her boyfriend came to hang out with us for the weekend. It was loads of fun. Here are some random pictures...

Me, Mamacita, Sister Waggles

We have the same eyes. Yes we do.

Making cookies with Grandma

I know--we look like twins.

Me, Calee, and the parents.

Lots to come

2008-05-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

So I left my blog on a depressing post and then didn't post anything for a week...have you guys been wondering if I'm still alive? haha. I am. And kicking.

I've actually got a lot of stuff to post about, but I'll have to do pictures tonight when I get home.
Last Saturday I sang at Brad's little sister's baptism, then my sister Brooke moved in with me (yipee!). Ryah turned 10 months old on Wednesday and is totally walking. Not kidding. Taylen was the same way. And I think that about does it for this week.

So I will post pictures of the baptism, my sister, and footage of the Bear walking around later.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm hanging in there... :)

One of those days...

2008-04-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

Another day has almost come and gone.
Can't imagine, what else could go wrong.
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door,
A single battle lost, but not the war.

Cuz tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirsty anyway,
So bring on the rain.

It's almost like the hard times circle round.
A couple drops, then they all start coming down.
Well I might feel defeated, and I might hang my head,
I might be barely breathing but I'm not dead, no.

Cuz tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirsty anyway,
So bring on the rain...

*JoDee Messina, Bring On The Rain

I'm in Love

2008-04-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

I had a day off last week so I decided to get some pictures done of the girls. My friend Cathi did them for us, and my girls were being SO UNBELIEVABLY ROTTEN!! We were late getting there, Taylen was being a brat, Ryah was whiny...I pretty much knew we weren't going to get any good shots. Boy was I wrong! Cathi took some BEAUTIFUL pictures...and I just want to put all of them up in my house!! I'm putting tons in this post right now, because I just can't decide... I am so thankful for these beautiful girls in my life, and for these beautiful pictures that I'll always have to look back on. Thanks, Cathi! (Go check out her blog at http://www.bitterphotography.blogspot.com/) Leave me some love about how cute my kids are :)

Master Nikki

2008-04-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

So, I have officially been accepted to the Marriage and Family Therapy Master's program at Alliant International University!! WOHOO! The program is small (they accept 12-15 students each year) and starts the end of August. I am SO excited. I have no idea how in the heck I'm going to work full time, be a single mom, and go to grad school full time...but hey, it'll work out if it's supposed to, I guess. I really REALLY hope I can figure out a way to make this work, because I would love to get my Master's and start a small private practice...

And at the end of the two year program I can even be my own therapist! It just gets better and better...

The Ryah Update

2008-03-25T21:47:00.001-07:00

I've gotten a few complaints from family members that they haven't seen much of Ryah Bear lately on the blog.

So here's the quick update on her:

She turned 9 months this past Saturday, she's got 2 bottom teeth (and gnawing on EVERYTHING...more teeth are on their way I'm sure), and she just recently started standing up by herself. All she wants to do is stand up. Me and her duke it out when she's in the bathtub because she just keeps standing up, and I keep sitting her down, and she eventually gets really mad at me. She is just the cutest thing!

Here's a video of her new trick (which is standing up, so don't expect too much from this)...

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Lord has a sense of humor

2008-03-23T22:07:00.001-07:00

So at church today our Relief Society lesson was on a talk that Elder Ballard gave last conference. It was basically about learning different facts about our religion and the organization of the church so that if someone wants to know "a little" about our church, we can quickly give them a few little facts instead of delving into a ridiculously long conversation. There were about 20 facts that our teacher put into little easter eggs and handed out to everyone. We were to randomly pick an egg, read our fact to the class, and talk about what we thought about it. I opened my egg and here is what I read:

"Those who are married in and attend the temple regularly have a divorce rate far below the national and world average."

Haha! Out of all the freaking eggs, I randomly pick the one that talks about divorce. Oh man, I'm still laughing...

Knee Pads

2008-03-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

So Taylen has been liking The Little Mermaid lately, and has been randomly telling me different facts about Ariel. This one is my favorite:

"Mom, Ariel has knee pads on her nipples. Purple ones."

I got to thinking about it, and knee pads probably would be more comfortable than sea shells...

And Taylen is Three!

2008-03-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

So today was Tay's third birthday! We had a party for her yesterday, which turned out pretty cool. Brad's parents have a huge jumphouse that they brought, and his brother-in-law brought a cotton candy machine. We had jumping, cotton candy, food, music, and a billion balloons all over the place. Oh, and everyone got puppy faces drawn on. Taylen wore her princess dress, with a party had and a puppy face. This was the first year she really understood that her birthday was coming up, and she had a great day. Thanks to all our friends and family who helped make it fun!

Tay with mom and dad

I stayed up (with Sarah Bartlett) the night before the party to decorate the house so when Tay woke up in the morning she could get into the birthday spirit right away. Thanks to the Bartletts for blowing up 144 balloons!! They were all over my downstairs, and when Tay saw them in the morning she said, "Mom!! There are balloons all over this world!!" I don't know why balloons are so fun for kids, but they definitely made it feel like a party! (Look at this picture up close and you can see how excited she is)

Birthday Tay

Taylen, Aunt Sarah, and me (notice the princess crown...)

This is the only picture I got that sort of shows the jumphouse. Bummer! This is me with Brad's sisters Sarah and Heather...

Two puppies :)

26 and counting...

2008-03-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday. Yipee :) I am 26 today, but I feel like I should be 76. ha ha. In honor of my 26 years of life, I am going to write 26 things I'm thankful for right now. And I'm feeling very reflective, so it will probably be long-winded. ha ha.

My testimony. Definitely the thing that has made this last year bearable.
Taylen. She makes me laugh every day, and tells me she loves me, and gives me a reason to get out of bed each morning and put on a happy face.
Ryah Bear. She is such a sweet baby, and I am so thankful that she came to our family. She has been (and will continue to be) a huge blessing in Taylen's life...as Tay is getting passed around to daycare, and my house and Brad's house, she doesn't have to do it alone. She's got her Bryah with her. They will always have each other. I am so so thankful for that.
Makeup. I like to feel cute. I can't do it without cosmetics. ha ha.
My parents. It has been very difficult for them to watch me go through this, and not being able to take it away from me. I appreciate their love and them stepping back and allowing me to deal with this how I choose to deal with it, and not how they think I should deal with it.
Tanning. I know this is superficial. Superficially fabulous!! When I was in college I would go tanning when I had a bad day, but I stopped doing it as much once I got married (being pregnant and tanning doesn't really mix). I don't go often, but I love it when I do.
My hot sisters. I love my sisters so much. We always have a ridiculous amount of fun together, and every time we hang out we are laughing and being pretty obnoxious. If any of you know us, you'll know that's actually a huge understatement. I can't think of anyone I'd rather hang out with than them. They are all above and beyond beautiful, and ridiculously smart. I learn things from each of them, and I am proud to be their sister.
Toothpaste. I can't stand not brushing my teeth. I literally can't sleep if I don't do it.
My patriarchal blessing. I have read it countless times the past few months, and the blessings and promises are unbelievably comforting.
My bachelor's degree. My life has taken a turn I never thought it would, and I am so thankful I have a degree under my belt. GO TO SCHOOL. GET EDUCATED. You never know what life is going to throw at you, prepare yourself.
Music. Sad, happy, angry. Music has been a haven for me.
My car. My Avalon got "voluntarily repossesed." Basically, I called Toyota and said that I couldn't make the payments anymore, so they came and picked it up. My parents found a way to get me a 99 Mitsubishi Galant, and every time I get into it I say a little thank you prayer. It runs great, it could be way uglier, and I don't have a monthly payment. Fab.
My cell phone. We take them for granted, but could you live without yours?
Dr. Pepper. Basically I'm addicted to it, and it makes me happy :)
My job. HUGE BLESSING. I got my first paycheck today...YIPEE!! It's not a lot, but it's a heck of a lot more than I've been getting the past little while :)
Chapstick. Can't live without it.
Photo albums. I love looking at old pictures. They remind me that I used to have game. ha ha.
My friends and neighbors. There have been a handful of friends that have really gone above and beyond and have been huge blessings to me. I have zero family up here, but there honestly has not been a single day that I just felt alone. To name a few...Kristin Hinson has me over for dinner almost every Sunday. Jen Perrow has me over for dinner on the random sundays I'm not at the Hinsons. Tiffani Morgan has made me dinner a few times. Leslie Groff drops off goodies on my doorstep. Jennifer Penney, Jeannie Retamal, Kari Stacy, Sarah Bartlett, Heidi Hage, Leslie Ashby, Cathi Bitter, and countless others who make it a point to ask how I'm doing, sit by me at church, give me a random phone call, and just keep up on what's going on in my life. Even if I don't always call you back, or reply to your comments on my blog, I really appreciate all the support and love I feel from each of you. I'm sure you'll never know how much it means to me.
Facebook. Haha. Geeby, I know. But I've reconnected with a bunch of old friends I would have otherwise probably never heard from again.
DVR. Honestly, I never watch live TV anymore. I love that I can watch my couple shows whenever I get time...even if that's Saturday night :)
My BYU roommies. We lived together all four years of college, and I love all of them! No matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, we fall right back into being best friends when we're together. We had fun times, and sad times, and mean times, and I learned and grew more during those four years than probably at any other point in my life (until now, ha ha:). I'm excited for our reunion in May!!
My long hair. Sounds weird, but I've been growing my hair out forever, and I've hated it forever, and it's finally gotten to a point that I can do it and actually like it. Yipee!
My grandparents. They send me emails, or phone calls, and just let me know they're thinking about me. I have good relationships with both sets of grandparents, and that is something I have always been very thankful for.
The Temple. It just puts things in perspective, and brings a very real peace.
Ms. Gina. She is Taylen and Ryah's daycare provider, and I really like her. I feel like I was sort of led to her, and feeling comfortable dropping my kids off with her each day is a very real blessing.
My positive attitude. I have always thought of myself as a positive person, but I've never really had anything to not be positive about. It is amazing to me that I am so peaceful about everything right now, and that I really am happy despite the craziness that is my life at the moment. I know that the ability to be positive through this trial comes from something greater than myself.

Here's to a great day, and to a happy year ahead!! Leave me some love...

Hush Hush

2008-03-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

The other day we were at dinner at a friend's house, and Taylen was poking me with her foot under the table. She poked her foot a little close to a place I'd rather her not be poking, and she laughed and said, "Mom, I poked my foot in your privacy!"

Ha ha! I love her.

Shout out to the locals

2008-03-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

Hey friends.

I need a place to live. I just can't afford or maintain my (large) house by myself. Bummer.

I am actually looking forward to moving into a smaller place. These last two weeks that I've been working, my house has suffered greatly, and I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed with trying to keep it clean and running efficiently. And if any of you have been to my house lately, you know I've been failing in that department. ha ha.

Anyway, if any of you live in Roseville, Rocklin or Lincoln, will you keep your eyes peeled for small homes for rent? I've got a list of apartments I'm looking into, but I would love to be in a small home or townhome (that way I've got a garage, maybe a little backyard, and no one living above me). I'm looking for 2-3 bedrooms, and probably nothing bigger than 1600 sq ft (smaller than that is fine).

Just keep your eyes peeled for me as you're all driving home or to the park or grocery store...

Thanks!

Life is moving on...

A Novel, by: Nikki

2008-02-26T10:43:00.000-08:00

So, I officially had my first day of work yesterday. It was seriously great. I walked in and there were a bunch of flowers and a card on my desk from the staff welcoming me to Alliant and saying how excited they were that I was joining the team. It just brightened my day right from the start. I pretty much bawled all weekend thinking about taking my girls to daycare, and how hard it would be for them and everything. But Taylen did GREAT. She didn't even cry when I left her with Ms. Gina :) She was sad, and was telling me she didn't want me to go, but she did not have a melt down like I was expecting (based on how she is when I leave her just for nursery, I was terrified. She seriously screams and pulls my hair and clothes clinging to me...not pretty). Anyway, she was just bouncing around when I got her, and Ryah was happy as usual. I didn't get home until 7 (bleh), and then got dinner, jammies, some quick quality time and to bed for the girls by 8:15. Then took a shower, listened to voice mails, checked emails, opened bills...and before I knew it it was midnight. Wow. My days are going to be really busy from here on out. Which is actually a huge blessing, because it will make the time go by quickly, and before I know it, life will be more stable for us.

I am just so thankful that this job came into my life, and I am feeling really blessed. My boss is just a really good person, and I was telling her a little bit about my situation and she said, "We are all about families here. You do what you need to do to take care of your kids, and we will support you. There are lots of ways to be a good mom."

I almost started crying when she said that. She's right. All I have wanted, my whole life, is to stay home and raise my kids. Life threw some challenges at me, and now that's not an option for a while. But I am being the best mom I can by providing for my girls and by being a good example to them and by holding my head high through adversity. There really are lots of good ways to be a good mom.

I love my job :)

And the Taylen quote of the day is...

2008-02-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

I was cooking dinner and Taylen came up and gave me a big hug from behind, burying her nose right in my backside. She pulled away from me, put her hands on her hips, tilted her head to one side and said, "Does somebody need a diaper change?"

Hahah! Seriously. I have no idea where this child comes from.

8 Months Old Today (well, the 22nd)

2008-02-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

*Pulling herself up to standing

*No teeth yet

*Sleeping through the night (from 6-7:30!!)

*Happy, happy, sweetheart of a baby. I can't believe she's 8 months old!

Oh, and I cut her mohawk off! I'll post a picture soon. She now looks like a little boy instead of an old man with a combover. Fab.