Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I see London, I see France...

So...

Flirting.

It is the funniest thing. Once I got married and my relationship shifted from the fun/flirty stage to the baggy sweat pants/fall asleep at 8 pm stage (which I happen to love, by the way), I started to get a kick out of watching young males and females get their flirt on. The overexaggerated hair flicking, the elbow touching, the too-loud laughing at the not-quite-funny jokes...it's all just so funny once you're not in that stage anymore.

And then some of us get suddenly thrown back into that stage, ready or not.

Seriously, the first day I walked around without my wedding ring on was so weird. I swear everyone (correction: every male) was staring at me. The cashier at McDonald's, the mailman, the random guy in the car next to me, they all wanted me. They could sense that I didn't have my ring on. haha. Obviously, I was being slightly oversensitive to it, which has since worn off. But seriously ladies, have you ever forgotten your wedding ring one day? I swear men treat you differently.

Anyway, so I'm at work the other day, and this guy comes in. He's been in before, we've chatted. He knows I'm going through a divorce, yadda yadda (is that how you write that? I've never actually written that before, and I have no idea if that's right. Probably "yadda yadda" should be in our Butcher The English Language Dictionary that we started compiling in the previous post).

Okay, so Dude turns on the flirting. And it's not pretty. Seriously, he was being so immature it was almost embarrassing! He is like 34 going on 12.

I actually left the office with permanent marker scribbled up my foot, and a "kick me" sign on my back.

I wish I was kidding.

I'm surprised he didn't snap my bra and remind me that it was Flip Up Friday.

If this is what I have to look forward to in Dating After Divorce Land, just kill me now.

At least then I could avoid the awkward couples' skate at the roller rink...

20 comments:

brad said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Naven Family said...

Ok this is too funny! Not that I look as good as I did before I had kids, but I have found sometimes too-guys don't care if you have a wedding ring or not! They will still try to flirt with you, and it is totally uncomfortable! I can't believe that guy did that to you! Sorry, but I was hecka laughing! The way you tell things is too funny! I know you will be fine in the dating world! Just hang in there! :)

Julia Kelly said...

flip up friday! haha! i took that day very seriously when i was younger. i NEVER wore a skirt in fear of a boy lifting up my skirt.

dating seriously sucks. and yes, it's so funny to watch people flirt. i don't think i even know how to flirt anymore.

The Fishers said...

too funny. I must admit I am wanting more details at the awful attempts of the pickup that left you with a kick me sign on your back. do tell.

Anonymous said...

You mean to say those bra snaps don't work? Ah crap, better change the game plan. -moussey

Cori said...

I get a kick out of watching people flirt, it's totally ridiculous. Although, the asking out thing was totally the opposite for me. Guys never noticed me when I was single (when I really wanted them to) and then all the sudden I get married and I'm getting asked out all the time, like hello, I have a ring RIGHT THERE on my finger! Worse time ever, I was five months pregnant. My sister had to pat my tummy to clue the guy in. I still laugh about how red he got.

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh, that happened to me in the grocery store! I had JUST had a baby (like two or three weeks ago) and I was still fighting the saggy tummy phenomenon. And this dude stops me in the frozen food islae and says "I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are" It was flattering but really weird too. I felt SO FAT, I couldn't fit my wedding ring on my sausage fingers even if I wanted to, and this big fat OLD guy is trying to get his freak on? Weird. After that, I just got my ring resized!

Sarah said...

oops! I meant to say "isle". Really, I can spell! :)

Tiff and Dave said...

Hilarious Nikki! I definitely don't envy you, but don't worry...it will all work out! Before you know it, your flirting genes will resurface....hopefully not like a 12 year old!!

barbara said...

Nikki:

Ok, so I was blog stalking when I found you. You are gorgeous and so are your girls. Things will get easier.........until they do have some ice cream!!!! We are here if we can help.

Bishop and Sister Jackson, BYU 149

Anonymous said...

No worries, people! The master is back, albeit reluctantly.

Nikki said...

hahah! The master is back. Awesome.

Nikki said...

Sister Jackson...
Good to hear from you! I'm glad you found my blog. Thanks for the compliments about me and my girls. :) That's always nice to hear. Until things get better, eat ice cream! haha! Love it. And I'm definitely good at doing that.

Thanks for much for the comment...I hope to hear more from you! How are you guys doing?

Nikki said...

Cori and Sarah,
I love the akward pick up stories. Pregnant in one, and just had a baby in the other...probably the most physically bleh times in a female's life, and you two are still picking up the gentleman folk! You should be proud, ladies :) Way to go.

Nikki said...

The Fishers--
Ah, the details. I'm not even really sure how it all happened. I was really trying to focus on my computer screen and pretend like I had a lot to do, but the hint was not being picked up on. I was sitting at my desk when I felt this thing on the BOTTOM of my foot. He had actually slid under my chair (on his back) and drew a line on the bottom of my foot. Seriously?!? Haha. I looked down and there was his face staring up at me. Lucky for him I used A LOT of self control and chose not to step square on his nose. And the "kick me" sign is pretty self explanatory. :)

Quite the adventure. Try not to be jealous :)

Nikki said...

Anonymousse--
Funny comment, again. I'm glad you're back. I thought maybe my prying into who you are had forced you into non-commenting seclusion. Glad that's not the case, even though I wish you'd give me a little hint. :)

Melissa (Murdoch) McKinley said...

your blog is hilarious! i've found myself checking way too often to see if you've posted something new and funny/inspiring/thought provoking, etc... seriously, you're like the coolest girl i (don't) know!

The Morgans said...

Oh my goodness, I while reading your encounter, I wished that you were joking. Does this guy seriously wonder why he isn't dating or married to anyone?! There are good guys out there but you might have to kiss a few frogs to find that prince charming.

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry that you had such a hideous experience. Can we say eww? You can't blame the guy for trying because, let's face it, you're beautiful. Anyway. I love reading your blog!

Kristin said...

I can't read your blog without "almost pee my pants laughing" nearly everytime! Your posts seriously make my day. I can't wait to read your book!